Step 10: Trudging the Road of Sanctification

On a practical level the 10th step is really a way to measure our day as we go through our day. Here are some things I have found through working the steps to be helpful. We watch how we are thinking and acting towards others on a daily basis. Are we being selfish, inconsiderate, dishonest, resentful or fearful? When we are not if we are we should go into a time of prayer right there and ask God to remove this thought, attitude, or behavior from us. Sometimes it is helpful to discuss this with a sponsor, mentor, or friend. If we have harmed anyone we then go about making it right. At this stage of the game a simple apology will probably suffice provided we are cleaning up our mess on a daily basis. Then we once again would be Wise to turn to God again in prayer and ask whom we could help. This simple process is adapted from the original direction for the 12 steps and goes something like this.

Watch yourself move towards Sin.

Ask God to remove this thought, attitude, or behavior from us.

Discuss it with someone we trust (focusing on where we are at fault)

Make amends if we have harmed anyone

Ask God to direct us towards whom we can help.

The 10th step is not something we do at the end of the day as is popular in some 12 step groups. The 10th step is really just a new way of thinking about, and reacting to life. If we begin to operate in this way we will begin to do it naturally.

Finally, I think that it is important to note that most of us do not fall back into our sin addictions over the big catastrophes in life. When someone dies, or we get sick, or lose a job most of us turn to the Lord even more so. What leads most of us into our addiction is the continual ignoring of small issues. When I lie to you I don’t clean it up I just sweep it under the rug. When I don’t do what I am supposed to; when I cover things up. When I have made a commitment and I am supposed to be there and I’m not. I make an excuse rather than confess I was wrong. These things pile up and the continual rejection of the reality of our wickedness lulls us into a sleep of complacency which inevitably leads to a relapse in behavior. If we want to get free of our self will we will continually need to seek his Face and lean into life continually making mistakes, and admitting to them when we harm others. That is what the 10th step is about

Boast in Him

Last night, as we spent time in celebration, I was reminded how truly needy I really am for a savior. How I am not competent enough, smart enough, righteous enough, enthusiastic enough, or wise enough to earn my way into God’s favor. In fact, regardless of the personal victories I have seen, I am still a sorry, depraved and horrific example of creation. With all the self-esteem building out of the way let me say this, this is the beauty of the cross, I am not good enough nor does God expect me to be. If he expected me to be good enough he would not have come down to die for me. He gave me the law to see how much I fall short and how much I need a savior like Him to fix my wicked heart. Here are a couple of neat Bible verses to chew on this week as we get ready to complete the series on the 12 steps.

Jeremiah 9:23-24

Galatians 6:14

2 Corinthians 5:21

Steps 8 and 9: Set Right The Wrong

So many of us have taken on the attitude of a victim. We stay a slave to the people who anger us, and even worse we treat them in shocking ways justifying it the entire time. What we learned in the 4th step is that we were hating ourselves through other people. Meaning when we harbor resentment we are blaming someone for some aspect of why our life didn’t turn out how we wanted it to. Well at the end of the day we all know that we are responsible for our life and so the question is: Who am I really hating when I pour energy into harboring resentment? Myself of course I am “taking poison and hoping the other guy dies”.

What we are going to do in steps 8 and 9 is reverse the process. We are going to go out and set right the wrongs we have committed against others while at the same time letting them off the hook for their mistakes. In doing this we will stop pouring energy into hating the person who screwed up our life (us). We will begin to feel nearness towards our fellows and God. We will see relationships mended and hearts healed.

The 9th step is about action. Unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer for these tough decisions when it comes to amends. What we must do is pray to God for discernment and then the courage to take action and face the people we have wounded. Get after it….

Step 3: Living Sacrifice

Ok, actually the 3rd step reads, made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood him. Being as I hit this part pretty hard tonight I will basically leave you with a couple of questions and some resources for tonight.

How much time have I been devoting to my pursuit of a relationship with God?

Do I run to Him when I am afraid or do I run away from Him and the things of him?

Am I ready to offer my will and life over to the care of God? If so what does that look like? If not why not?

Ok resource number 1: If you want to take the 3rd step here is my suggestion. Use the 3rd step prayer as a template and then alter it as you see fit.

God I offer myself to thee, to build with me and to do with me as though wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help, of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always.

Reprinted from the book Alcoholics Anonymous, Second Edition Public Domain.

That being said here are some other very important resources.

• A book by Marc Driscoll on Porn and Masturbation. This is a free resource.
  http://relit.org/porn_again_christian/
• Many resources for accountability and transformation. Some free some with a cost.
  http://xxxchurch.com/
• Although the name self-help drives me nuts this is a place to get the book Alcoholics Anonymous as well as other resources.
  http://self-helpsoftware.com/BigBooks
• Pastor Matt Chandler does a two session workshop on God and Sex.
  Link
• Many resources from Pastor Timothy Keller.
  Link

I know you are thinking that these are mostly sexual sin related links. I know no one struggles with this but I thought to celebrate the launch of our first break out group from life issues with the Men’s Sexual Purity group with some free resources.